The Secret to Doing it ALL

"I just don't know how you all do it all!"

Those words are offered in our general direction with an understanding inflection at least once a day.  Usually when one of us is solo-parenting, usually mid-child wrangling, and usually when we're feeling a little frazzled and downright wrangled as a result of balancing parenting and work with this little brood of ours. Its a generous thing to say, really, an "I see you" kind of moment, and it reminds us to be forgiving and generous toward ourselves.

We have three intelligent, spunky, and beautiful daughters, ages 4, 3, and 5 months. 

I have a full-time job.  

My spouse has a full-time job, which includes a 2.5 hours commute daily.  

Both of our jobs are also our callings, so we happily have lots of community commitments.

Oh yeah, we also have two dogs. 

And a household. 

And all of the appointments.

And everyone has to eat. 

Even as I make that list of generalities about our life, I'm sure that I have forgotten something essential.  We are busy, I'm not going to lie about it.  Life has its daily challenges from the moment everyone wakes up in the morning... note: 2-4 year old do NOT like broken cereal bars or broken bananas (you're welcome)...until the girls are finally all snug in their beds relaxing and slipping toward sleep.  We often look at one another, set a minimum of what has to be done, give a high five, and get busy so that we can go to bed as early as possible because Im pretty sure our alarms wake the sun in the morning.

So, HOW DO WE DO IT ALL? 

I'm glad you asked.  We don't. 

First and foremost, we could never do it alone. We depend on Jesus and the people running this busy race around us that love us and love our kids well.  We have the benefit of an awe-inspiring village of people--our amazing church family, neighbors and friends like family and biological grandparents, aunts and uncles that live 90 miles away who make our babies a priority.  With the guidance of trusted friends, we have found excellent childcare for all three girls and we bring enough money home between the two of us to pay our bills (most of the time). When it comes down to it, we are beyond privileged.  And we do our best to never take that for granted.

Second, we don't do it all.  Some weeks we have to do a load of underwear and towels in the laundry because like rabbits in springtime, the laundry seems to reproduce on its own!   Some days we don't feel like we gave our full presence of mind and heart at work.  Some evenings we worry that we aren't parenting our children well or giving them the love and attention they deserve. We eat cereal for dinner from time to time and have even had Chick-fil-A more than one night in a week. Most nights we go to bed still ticking off the to-do lists.  

But, when it comes right down to it, being able to check off to-do lists for work and home does not raise kids to be kind, justice-oriented, God-loving Christian leaders and citizens.  

Next time you see one of us, wrangling kiddos at Chick-fil-A or some other public place, don't be in awe of us and all that we do, or our bravery for being out with such a young crew...rather, look beyond us to see the village, our cloud of saints.  They are the real heroes.

Now, go get yourself a village!  If you don't have reliable or geographically available family like we do, you can always start by finding a church and  getting to know your neighbors and go from there (we do that, too!!) 

We highly recommend it. In fact, we depend on it.

Elizabeth wore "the Dress"

I used to imagine my future children, wondering how many I would have, what they would be like... would I have sons or daughters or both? It wasn't until I became an adult that I learned just how simultaneously complex and simple, beautiful and painful these child-bearing years can be. My heart has been broken and mended more times that I am willing to name.  We don't take these journeys alone, because we do it alongside other hopeful friends who have varying degrees of difficulty, joy and grief along the way.

So, here I am-- cuddled up on a Saturday morning watching cartoons with 3 daughters and my sweet hubby while a rare summer morning storm brews outside. The scenario of my imagination has become my reality and I don't take these gifts for granted. With 3, most of our life is a glorious whirlwind of activity, but we try to take the moments as they come as best as we can. 

A little over 3 months ago, a precious soul entered the world with minimal cries, adorably large cheeks and an immediate commitment to cuddling.  Once again, our hearts swelled with incredible love for this new soul in our care.  I cried tears of relief and joy as I heard her first noises and then felt her nuzzle into my neck. We named her Elizabeth Allen.

Like our other daughters, we labored over the perfect name.  You can read about Grace and Allison.  When we found out we were expecting, we started the process of making lists and experimenting with potential names.  One night, about a week before we found out the sex of this third child, I had a very vivid dream that our baby was born and we named her Elizabeth Allen.  The next morning I told Daniel about my dream, and a week later, surrounded by family and friends, we opened a bag full of pink balloons.

Elizabeth is an old Hebrew name, based on the Greek translation Elisabet meaning "my God is an oath" or "my God is abundance" and Allen is Gaelic meaning "Harmony" or more literally "small rock."  Elizabeth is my middle name and Allen is my Sweet Hubby's middle name.  Allen was his maternal grandfather's name. Elizabeth is also the middle name of one of my best friends.

Elizabeth Allen may have surfaced in the form of a dream, but as easily as the pink balloons rose out of the bag to our 3 year old and 2 year old daughters exclaiming, "Mommy, pink balloons!!!  Daddy, pink means a girl!" the name felt like it was meant to be hers.  And so, we gave her parts of the names that our parents lovingly gave to us.

And in the tradition of most of the baby girls in my family for the last 60+ years, yesterday was little Elizabeth Allen's day to wear "the dress."

I chose to keep the dress simple, as is, which represents her easy-going, peaceful and pleasant spirit.  Thank God for her sweet nature. And knowing that she has a lifetime of hand-me-downs in her future, I chose the bow that I bought just for her-- that she wore the day she was welcomed into the world and several times since.  Her picture was made in the rocking chair where Grace sat, with our frontdoor in the background where her sister Allie posed for her picture.  She is 3 and 1/2 months old and she is a delight. She is our last, and I worried I might grieve all of the last things-- but instead I have been over-joyed by each one of them.  And like my Mamaw Sue before me, I have three amazing and unique daughters.