The Secret to Doing it ALL

"I just don't know how you all do it all!"

Those words are offered in our general direction with an understanding inflection at least once a day.  Usually when one of us is solo-parenting, usually mid-child wrangling, and usually when we're feeling a little frazzled and downright wrangled as a result of balancing parenting and work with this little brood of ours. Its a generous thing to say, really, an "I see you" kind of moment, and it reminds us to be forgiving and generous toward ourselves.

We have three intelligent, spunky, and beautiful daughters, ages 4, 3, and 5 months. 

I have a full-time job.  

My spouse has a full-time job, which includes a 2.5 hours commute daily.  

Both of our jobs are also our callings, so we happily have lots of community commitments.

Oh yeah, we also have two dogs. 

And a household. 

And all of the appointments.

And everyone has to eat. 

Even as I make that list of generalities about our life, I'm sure that I have forgotten something essential.  We are busy, I'm not going to lie about it.  Life has its daily challenges from the moment everyone wakes up in the morning... note: 2-4 year old do NOT like broken cereal bars or broken bananas (you're welcome)...until the girls are finally all snug in their beds relaxing and slipping toward sleep.  We often look at one another, set a minimum of what has to be done, give a high five, and get busy so that we can go to bed as early as possible because Im pretty sure our alarms wake the sun in the morning.

So, HOW DO WE DO IT ALL? 

I'm glad you asked.  We don't. 

First and foremost, we could never do it alone. We depend on Jesus and the people running this busy race around us that love us and love our kids well.  We have the benefit of an awe-inspiring village of people--our amazing church family, neighbors and friends like family and biological grandparents, aunts and uncles that live 90 miles away who make our babies a priority.  With the guidance of trusted friends, we have found excellent childcare for all three girls and we bring enough money home between the two of us to pay our bills (most of the time). When it comes down to it, we are beyond privileged.  And we do our best to never take that for granted.

Second, we don't do it all.  Some weeks we have to do a load of underwear and towels in the laundry because like rabbits in springtime, the laundry seems to reproduce on its own!   Some days we don't feel like we gave our full presence of mind and heart at work.  Some evenings we worry that we aren't parenting our children well or giving them the love and attention they deserve. We eat cereal for dinner from time to time and have even had Chick-fil-A more than one night in a week. Most nights we go to bed still ticking off the to-do lists.  

But, when it comes right down to it, being able to check off to-do lists for work and home does not raise kids to be kind, justice-oriented, God-loving Christian leaders and citizens.  

Next time you see one of us, wrangling kiddos at Chick-fil-A or some other public place, don't be in awe of us and all that we do, or our bravery for being out with such a young crew...rather, look beyond us to see the village, our cloud of saints.  They are the real heroes.

Now, go get yourself a village!  If you don't have reliable or geographically available family like we do, you can always start by finding a church and  getting to know your neighbors and go from there (we do that, too!!) 

We highly recommend it. In fact, we depend on it.